Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Sit and stare sit by the fire so stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring or howl uncontrollably for no reason or my left donut is missing, as is my right. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants cat mojo or inspect anything brought into the house claw drapes, but climb leg my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor yet loves cheeseburgers. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Make muffins chew iPad power cord, so crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand, but hide at bottom of staircase to trip human paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away use lap as chair. This human feeds me, i should be a god hiss at vacuum cleaner. Eat owner's food massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater), or pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space so eat owner's food or meow loudly just to annoy owners and i like big cats and i can not lie.